hyperthymic | open rp + meme overflow

[ Mickey's already shaking his head and backing away a few steps by the time Ian gets to part Mickey's dreading. This isn't how Ian's supposed to go; he's supposed to have his family, his new boyfriend, his new life. He'd got his shit together, and though Mickey kinda hated him for leaving him at the finish line, he couldn't really blame him. Much. So long as it had been worth it.

It was supposed to have been worth it. ]

An abandoned building. Like we--

[ Mickey can't finish; his words are already thick with unshed tears. He can't do this. He shakes his head and sniffs, presses the heels of his hands into his eyes and tries again. ]

Fuck, man. What happened to your suicide list? Where was the rest of your fuckin' family, huh? Your new boyfriend? Where the fuck were they when you needed them?

[ Mickey wants to hit someone or something really bad right now, but no one who deserves it is here and that somehow makes him want it even more. His hands clench into fists and his gaze darts around for anything he can take his anger out on. Finding nothing that looks satisfying enough, he looks helplessly at Ian for some kind of answer that'll make it make sense. ]

[ Ian can't look Mickey in the eyes. Like their spot. He swallows. ]

Trevor and I broke up. He and I didn't really... he was never willing to compromise with me on anythin and I guess I was just too much for him to deal with. [ The cheating and running off after his ex, the highs and lows. All of it - could he really blame him? ] And my siblings - everyone was dealing with their own shit, I tried to push everyone away and they let me.

Debbie was the only one who didn't... but anyways. I'm not even mad at them, cause that's what I wanted, right? For them to give up?

[ He's not angry, nor does he blame them for not seeing things. He's a grown man and it's not their responsibility to keep him on track, make sure he's taking his meds, not drinking his meals. Fiona was barely around with her work and new apartment that she had bought - Lip was trying to pick up the pieces and stay sober.

At the same time he wishes they'd tried harder when he shut them away. Even slightly. But that was Ian. Always a little too much for everyone. Mickey is the only person who'd never shied away from him when things got tough - he'd fought harder for him until Ian broke up with him, or left him at the border.

When it came to it, the one person he wanted to talk to the most was no longer someone he could reach.

It was his fault. It always was. ]

D'you think... if you hadn't been alone that you would've still... ?

Got knocked off for running my mouth too hard?

[ There's a moment in which Mickey wants to say no, to say that having Ian with him would've made a difference, would've made him more careful. That maybe they'd have found some way to get buy that was a little more legitimate than running drugs for the cartel. That he wouldn't have been so angry and reckless, maybe.

Then he takes in the way Ian won't look at him, the way even now the weight of his life seems to wear upon him when he should've been free of it, and he forces a casual grin that doesn't reach his eyes. ]

Yeah, probably. Never did know when to shut the fuck up, right?

[ It's not your fault. He can't say it and mean it yet, but the part of him that had eventually understood why Ian had chosen the way he had knows it's true. It's not Ian's fault, and even if it were Mickey would never want to hurt him by saying so.

He takes a deep breath, shrugs his shoulders to shed some of the tension that's built up there, and looks Ian over again with a low chuckle, obvious affection in his gaze. ]

Look at you. Can't believe hell made you into a literal fuckin' fairy.

[ Ian doesn't believe him. Not really. But he nods and doesn't say anything more, he's already not sure that his heart can take it. They've both fucked up so many times in the past. And then he has a thought: that they're both here, and they don't have to be bound by the past any longer, to a life they no longer live.

It's a crazy thought and he's gonna need more time but.. what if this means they can start again?

Ian's eyes sparkle with mirth and he barks out a laugh. God he missed this. He missed Mickey, it's so easy to fall back in step with him. Caleb had been nice until he wasn't, until he cheated then tried to gaslight and manipulate him. Trevor was nice but he and his friends sometimes made Ian feel... inferior and he expected Ian to be on his level when he couldn't pay the same mind to him. Mickey was turbulent but... he was also the best. ]

Butterfly, I think. But close enough, right? They couldn't make me any gayer if they tried.

[ a beat ]

I like this look for you.

[ It's always easy between them, even when it looks to an outsider like it's not. Ian makes sense in a way nothing else in Mickey's life had. Even now, changed as they both are, this feels the same. It still feels right.

Quietly cursing the part of himself that still wants this -- the part that can still be so deeply in love with the guy who'd made it crystal fucking clear he didn't want what Mickey offered -- Mickey makes a face and gestures to the ears, which flatten back in mild annoyance. ]

It's fuckin' ridiculous, is what it is. I get bunny ears and a little fucking fluffy -- tail, and you get extra arms and wings? Why couldn't I get something useful, like two dicks, or guns for hands?

[ Ian can't help himself; he snorts and dissolves into a fit of giggling, hand clasped over his mouth as he tries, and fails to reign in some control. The ears were so expressive.

It's probably not making him feel any better about said ears but Mickey probably wouldn't be happy regardless. Not unless he got something like...

Well. Guns for hands, apparently. Typical. ]

That's not useful, Mick. [ He finally replies, clearing his throat and wiping away a stray tear. ] What are you gonna do when you need them for literally anything other than shooting, hm? Shoot yourself in the dick when you gotta take a leak?

Anyways. I like 'em.

Maybe I would! Why the fuck's anyone still gotta take a leak after they're dead, anyway? Maybe I'd shoot these ears off so I could stop having to hear every dumbass thing you say at three times the normal volume.

[Ian's laughter is contagious enough that Mickey finds himself laughing by the middle of his rant, too, the way they used to when they'd fight without really meaning it, just ribbing each other for the hell of it before things turned into a makeout session or more. It's so normal that Mickey forgets they're in hell and not together for a minute and launches himself at Ian like he's gonna tackle him all the way to the bed. ]

Bet ya can't even fight anymore with those giantass wings getting in the way.

There's other things you use your dick for, shithead! [ He pokes a finger into Mickey's chest. ] You gonna tell me you never want to masturbate again, huh? Or get sucked off? Anyways, you know you'd miss the sound of my voice, don't even lie. [ Ian yelps as Mickey tackles him, blinking up at him with a shit eating grin. Sure the wings could be unwieldy... but...

There's something to having two pairs of arms! Unfurling his wings, with the higher set he tries to push Mickey off of him...

... and the lower arms he uses to grab the shorter man and flip him over, then swings a leg over to straddle him. ]

You were saying?

Edited 2024-12-20 08:12 (UTC)

open rp + meme overflow

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